Sunday, 22 August 2010
So this is me way back in August 1983. At the time I thought I was so fat ~ I would never have dreamed then just how huge I would one day become.
I have to confess that I am feeling pretty low right now ~ well, I have been for some little while actually. I try hard to maintain a "jolly fat woman" persona but it's becoming very difficult to continue with this charade. I look at this photo and the tears just well up. How could I have let myself become so fat, how could I have let myself go so badly?
I'm tired of only living ~ in effect ~ half a life. I rarely go out because it is such an effort to walk far or for very long. I want to change ~ God knows, I certainly NEED to change. I'll be 50 years old next June and the thought of spending however many years I may have left in the shell I have created fills me with horror. And let's be frank, if I don't shed a serious amount of fat then what kind of life will it be anyway?
I thought about finding a photo of a celebrity to use as my inspiration but it isn't exactly realistic, is it? I can, though, use a photo of MYSELF because I am still ME somewhere deep inside this layer of all-encompassing fat.
So, here is my inspiration photo. Please spare me a couple of minutes, from time-to-time, to send healing, encouraging thoughts my way ~ I would so appreciate this, my friends (((hugs)))