Monday, 4 October 2010

On the brink...Part One

You see before you A-Woman-On-The-Brink-Of-Change. No, I don’t mean ‘the change’ ~ although I am teetering on the brink of that, too, but I’m sure you don’t want to hear me wittering on about it yet again. No, what I mean is that My-Life-As-I-Currently-Know-It is a-changing, moving in a different direction. Oh yes indeedy, folks, next year I will be celebrating that big 5~0 (on the 6th June, just in case you want to make a note for future reference ;-D) and to be quite frank, my dears, this ‘little’ fact has been in the forefront of my mind since I turned 49 four months back.

Last year, Tif at dottie angel challenged herself to a year of thrifty and creative living, aiming to buy only hand-crafted or pre-loved items for her home and wardrobe (with a small handful of exceptions), and getting creative with making whatever she or her home needed. I have seen other bloggers take up this challenge, too, and although I have had the odd fleeting thought about joining in, my spendthrift ways have nevertheless continued.

As is so often the case, several things have come trundling along recently to make me seriously think about taking on this challenge. And not only this challenge! Oh no, I actually have plans to make a number of changes in my life and if you’d like to bear with me, I will be more than happy to share my long list of thoughts with you ;-)

It started, would you believe, with The Chawners. I promise you, I don’t normally watch TV programmes such as these, but there it is. I did indeed find myself watching one of these episodes and it really opened my eyes to myself. (I feel that I must point out here that this is not a ‘Chawner-bashing’ post, and nor am I about to join in with what seems to be a national debate over the rights or wrongs of their collective state benefits). The issue that I find fascinating about the programme is how the whole family takes no personal responsibility for their poor health or lifestyle; they all seem to exist in a world of fantasy and denial. All of which got me thinking about my own life.

I don’t, generally speaking these days, go in for blaming other folk for me being overweight, unhealthy, unfit and all the other ‘stuff’ which floats around in my head ~ although I freely admit that I have indeed done so in the none-too-distant past. What I have taken to doing, instead, is to actually ‘admit’ that, why yes, it is my own fault that I am fat, unfit, unhealthy and spend too much time doing nothing-much-at-all with my life. But surely, Sharon, I hear you ask, is that not a step in the right direction? Doesn’t it mean that since you know it is you who has got yourself into this ‘fine mess’, then you can take action to get yourself out?

Well no, actually, it hasn’t worked like that in the slightest. Even whilst those words of acceptance are falling from my lips, I am still evading responsibility for how I live my life. Over the years, I have certainly talked a mighty fine talk but walking the walk? That is a different matter entirely. I’ve been living, at various times, in both the past and the future whilst simply treading water in the present. Like the Chawners, I’ve kept myself cocooned in my own little world of fantasy and denial. No wonder my life hasn’t changed for the better!

Enough, I say, is finally enough. Change is needed, change is what I want and change is what I am now, at last, embarking upon; I am ready to turn my life around.

For those who have stayed the course thus far with this epic post…..thank you for hanging-on-in-there ~ I sending you heaps of love and masses of (((hugs))). You most definitely deserve a little break, my dears, so I will call a temporary halt to these ramblings and continue in Part Two ~ hope to see you there ;-)

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